Parshat Vayishlach: From Suffering to Strength
December 5, 2025
Genesis 35:18
וַיְהִ֞י בְּצֵ֤את נַפְשָׁהּ֙ כִּ֣י מֵ֔תָה וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ בֶּן־אוֹנִ֑י וְאָבִ֖יו קָֽרָא־ל֥וֹ בִנְיָמִֽין׃
But as she breathed her last – for she was dying – she named him Ben-Oni;
but his father called him Benjamin.
One of the most tragic moments in Genesis comes as Rachel gives birth to her second son. She does not live through the ordeal, but does have a chance to give her son a name before she passes away. She names him “Ben Oni,” which means “son of my suffering,” for indeed she suffered much in his birth. Once she passes, Jacob gives his son a slightly new name: “Ben Yamin,” meaning “son of the right hand.”
The subtle shift offers an important lesson. Looking at his baby boy, Jacob could not help but remember his beloved Rachel. The pain and heartbreak he felt in holding him would perhaps dull, but never totally disappear. So what to do with the grief? The name change gives us a clue.
“Ben Oni” has two meanings. One is “son of my suffering,” but the same word “Oni” in Hebrew also means strength. Jacob chooses to lean into that second meaning. In renaming his son, Jacob models a powerful spiritual move: acknowledging the reality of pain while refusing to let that be the whole story. He honors Rachel’s memory not by erasing the hurt, but by transforming it – by choosing to see in this child not only the heartbreak that accompanied his birth, but also a source of strength that could carry his family forward.
Jacob’s renaming teaches that even in our most painful moments, we can look for the sparks of resilience, growth, and blessing. Out of loss can emerge not only sorrow, but also a new “right hand” – a source of purpose, courage, and strength that can sustain us even in the most difficult times.y God gave to Isaac’s dad Abraham, and it is our spiritual heritage. We can be conduits of goodness, empathy, and care, though it is rarely easy work. And so this blessing to Esau becomes a reminder for us. Even when we feel drained, even when we tell ourselves we have nothing left, the well of goodness within us is deeper than we know, and we may find – just as Isaac did – that we still have a blessing to give.