Megillat Esther 6:11

וַיִּקַּ֤ח הָמָן֙ אֶת־הַלְּב֣וּשׁ וְאֶת־הַסּ֔וּס וַיַּלְבֵּ֖שׁ אֶֽת־מׇרְדֳּכָ֑י וַיַּרְכִּיבֵ֙הוּ֙ בִּרְח֣וֹב הָעִ֔יר וַיִּקְרָ֣א לְפָנָ֔יו כָּ֚כָה יֵעָשֶׂ֣ה לָאִ֔ישׁ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ חָפֵ֥ץ בִּיקָרֽוֹ׃

So Haman took the garb and the horse and arrayed Mordecai and paraded him through the city square; and he proclaimed before him: This is what is done for the man whom the king desires to honor!

Six chapters into the Megillah, and things are not looking good for the Jews. By royal decree, the Jews are to be eradicated on the 13th of Adar. Since the decree, Mordechai dressed in sack cloth, praying that something would happen to relieve his people’s plight. Then all of a sudden, by another royal decree, Mordechai was to be dressed in kingly garb and marched around the city on horseback, unexpectedly celebrated for a favor he did for the king many months before.

This year more than ever I relate to Mordechai atop that horse. Though his outer appearance suggests luxury, leisure, and ease, nothing could be further from the truth. He was still mourning the fate of his people. Since the war in Israel began, there have been may days over the last 5 months where I feel as Mordechai did. Outwardly, I put on a face. Internally, my heart is broken. For anyone experiencing grief, this is true. We appear one way to world, but internally we are in a different head-space entirely. 

There are two different ways of seeing the world. One is to take it as it is, to believe that what we see is the full truth. Then, there is the Purim way of seeing the world, to believe that truth is found beyond that which our eyes can perceive. This is why we dress in costume on Purim. It’s a reminder that things are rarely as they seem on the surface. Like Mordechai on the horse, those with broken hearts may seem totally fine. And, like Mordechai at the end of the Purim story, when that day of dread turned into a day of vindication and celebration, we know that situations which seem dire and definite may yet turn into moments of profound joy.